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The 9 people you see at every music festival

Click through for the 9 people you meet at every festival

1. The denim bikini pants. Okay, not literally but there seems to be a competition on somewhere in the venue to find the briefest possible jean shorts. Bonus points for underwear – or not – revealing rips and pockets that hang down below the hems. In many cases, we’re talking cheekapalooza. No judgement but if you need to wax or laser before pulling on these numbers, maybe they’re a tad short.

2. Miss Appropriation. Coachella may just be a pipe dream but that doesn’t mean you can’t pillage an atlas of indigenous accessories to show that you can blend spiritual and sartorial. Bring on the native American headdress and warpaint, throw a dashiki on your Caucasian bod and while you’re at it, pop on a bindi because you’ve actually been to Goa. By which we meant don’t do any of this. Just don’t.

3. Sun’s out, tums out. Just so you know we’re not just ragging on women, let’s bring some testosterone to the mix. This guy has been hitting the gym all winter and has decided that the sun’s out, guns out maxim of last summer doesn’t quite display all of his hard work. That’s why he’s teaming his cuffed cargos with a t-shirt that looks more like a sleeveless tunic and arm holes so low they brush his waist. Thus providing a view that you probably didn’t want to see in the first place.

5. Cosmic Harajuku. Angel wings, neon platforms and enough body glitter to choke a unicorn. Add an ever-present lollipop and maybe some face paint and you’re good to go. To the rave tent.

7. Dungarees. If you must. We. Just. Can’t.

8. Disco boobs and nipple tassels. Although this sounds like one of the duos playing in a smaller tent, we are talking a combination of #freethenipple and the unshakeable belief that too much sparkle is never enough. Imagine the Lush Cosmetics factory exploded in a tsunami of bath bomb glitter and there was just one survivor. How somehow had her top blown clear off. For the avant-garde festival goer (and those with excellent circulation), breasts are the OG accessory. Rebellious, proud and sometimes pert, it’s all about getting noticed.

9. Apocalypse now. Blame ‘Mad Max: Fury Road’, ‘The Matrix’ or, ok the threat of nuclear war with North Korea, but there’s a new strain of festival dressing that’s strongly suggestive that the end of the world is near. Mostly present at Burning Man, but likely to start infiltrating other fests, the gas masks, leather and combat boots aren’t exactly heatwave friendly, but hey, they sure have impact.

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It's festy season! And David Smiedt is on the lookout for all the eye candy...

From Falls to Laneway and myriad other smaller events, the Australian summer music festival is currently in full swing. That means several things - awful public toilets, very friendly strangers and the re-emergence of the fashion tribes. Which - if any - do you belong to?

Click through the gallery above to find out....

The 9 people you see at every music festival

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Yeong Sassall

Published

29/12/2017 7:00:30 AM

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