Adele opens up about postnatal depression, drinking and fame
The Buro daily
She might be one of the most successful vocalists of our generation, but Adele certainly hasn't let fame go to her head. The English singer covers the latest issue of Vanity Fair, and in typically honest fashion, she goes deep. Read on to find out what the record-breaking singer has to say about postnatal depression, fame, motherhood, drinking and... that pesky issue of people on their phones at concerts.
"I think it's the bravest thing not to have a child; all my friends and I felt pressurised into having kids, because that's what adults do. I love my son more than anything, but on a daily basis, if I have a minute or two, I wish I could do whatever the f*ck I wanted, whenever I want. Every single day I feel like that."
On having a second child:
"I'm too scared. I had really bad postpartum depression after I had my son, and it frightened me."
On postnatal depression:
"One day I said to a friend, 'I f*ckin' hate this,' and she just burst into tears and said, 'I f*ckin' hate this, too.' And it was done. It lifted. My knowledge of postpartum-or post-natal, as we call it in England-is that you don't want to be with your child; you're worried you might hurt your child; you're worried you weren't doing a good job. But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate; I felt like I'd made the worst decision of my life . . . . It can come in many different forms."
"Eventually I just said, I'm going to give myself an afternoon a week, just to do whatever the f*ck I want without my baby."
On looking pretty:
"I'll have no man telling me to shave my f*ckin' legs. Shave yours."
"I'd still like to make records, but I'd be fine if I never heard [the applause] again. I'm on tour simply to see everyone who's been so supportive."
On earning money:
"I don't care about money. I'm British, and we don't have that . . . thing of having to earn more money all the time. I don't come from money; it's not that important a part of my life."
"I love being famous for my songs, but I don't enjoy being in the public eye. I love to make music, and I love doing shows, and I needed to go back to work-not for money but because something was missing. I wasn't creating music."
On friends selling stories of her to the press:
"I appreciate when there's money [involved]... but you could go get a job. The problem is you can't talk about the downside of fame, because people have hope, and they cling to the hope of what it would be like to be famous, to be adored, to be able to create and do nice things."
On phones at concerts:
"People would rather have a photo to show to people than actually enjoy a moment. It's weird-when I first started out, nearly 10 years ago, no one had their phones out. I'd go onstage to people. Now I go onstage to 18,000 phones. It's pretty because of the lights . . . but no one is actually looking at the world-they're on their phones all the time."
On her drinking habits:
"Having a hangover with a child is torture. Just imagine an annoying three-year-old who knows something's wrong; it's hell."
"I'm too scared to ever take drugs. I used to love to be drunk, but as I got more famous I would wake up the next morning and think, What the f*ck did I say and who the f*ck did I say it to? I never had blackouts, but when you're drunk and you go to a party, you'll talk to anyone."
On how drinking helped her write 21:
"I can see from an outsider's perspective that I will never write songs as good as the ones that are on 21, but I'm not as indulgent as I was then, and I don't have time to fall apart like I did then. I was completely off my face writing that album, and a drunk tongue is an honest one. I would drink two bottles of wine, and I would chain-smoke. Then I'd write the lyrics down and the next morning think, F*ck, that's quite good. Then I'd find the melody. But since I've had my baby, I'm not as carefree as I used to be. I'm scared of a lot of things now because I don't want to die."
"I have a very dark side. I'm very available to depression. I can slip in and out of it quite easily. It started when my granddad died, when I was about 10, and while I never had a suicidal thought, I have been in therapy, lots."
On not letting her album be streamed at first:
"I wanted to prove a point. Everyone said streaming is the future. Well, if it is in the future, we're not in the f*ckin' future yet. I wanted to prove the point that, if people like a record enough, they will go out and buy it. And they did."
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