Oh, humanity. If there was ever a way to tap into the minds of the world's billion-plus Google users, this is it. We know there's a lot of freaky stuff happening on the interwebs as we write this, but rarely do we find evidence that the world's population might just be getting dumber and weirder by the second.
We're the first to admit that sometimes our searches are borne purely out laziness, pure stupidity or even to break up a heated dinner-table argument. So when Google tells us that Australia's most searched 'What is...' terms are:
3. The Meaning Of Life
4. The Time
5. The Weather Today
Related story: Yep, Instagram-inspired baby names are officially a thing
We kinda get it. After all, the search for love and a reason for existence is a pretty arcane and universal concept. But scratch the surface of this glorious anthropological gold and you start to see some more, shall we say, enlightening data emerge. It seems that in the United States, fashion is one big shoe-related puzzle, as are those pesky weddings set in the woods. Here are the top ten most google fashion terms of 2015 (United States only):
1. How to walk in heels?
2. What to wear on the first day of school?
3. How to fray jeans?
4. How to tie a shirt?
5. What should a bride wear to the rehearsal dinner?
6. What to wear booties with?
7. What are mules shoes?
8. What to wear to a wedding in the woods?
9. How to dress up like Miranda Sings?
10. What color shoes goes with a black and blue dress?
For the uninitiated, Miranda Sings is an internet character created by comedian Colleen Ballinger Evans, who performs YouTube skits like this cover (we use this term loosely) of Adele's 'Hello'. We're told she's an internet sensation - we'll leave you to ponder that one.
But seriously guys, don't laugh too hard, we Australians were just as flummoxed on the everyday conumdrums, such as 'How to...?':
1. Tie A Tie
2. Make Pancakes
3. Screenshot On Mac
4. Make A Paper Plane
5. Write A Cover Letter
7. Get Rid Of Pimples
8. Poach An Egg
9. Lose Weight Fast
10. Make Money
The dole is clearly working in our favour. But back to more serious stuff. In terms of fashion designers, Americans were most curious about former Dior creative director Raf Simons, followed by Shoshanna Lonstein Gruss - an American fashion designer whose main claim to fame was dating Jerry Seinfeld back in 1993 - when she was 17 and he was 39. You can thank Gawker for that reminder. The rest of the list is far less baffling:
Related story: Why listening to Lana might be bad for your mental health
1. Raf Simons
2. Shoshanna Lonstein Gruss
3. Giambattista Valli
4. Thakoon Panichgul
5. Tadashi Shoji
6. Elie Saab
7. Karl Lagerfeld
8. Christian Lacroix
9. Zuhair Murad
10. Tommy Hilfiger
Lastly, in terms of global search terms it seems that ailing ex-spouses of the Kardashians were most intriguing, with Lamar Odom taking out the top spot in most searched people, followed by Ronda Rousey, Caitlyn Jenner, Adele, Charlie Sheen, Ruby Rose, Donald Trump, Sia, Dakota Johnson and Jeremy Clarkson. (Two Aussies in the top ten isn't a bad effort.) You can view the whole report here.
Sign of the times: the 2015 word of the year is an emoji
Cate Blanchett slams selfies as "pathetic", but are you Insta-guilty?
#KardBlock: introducing the anti-Kardashian web browsing app