The day has arrived! After farewelling Barack Obama (and Michelle) last week, it's now time to celebrate the inauguration of Donald J. Trump as president. Never thought you'd hear those words? Us too. Here's what you need to know:
1. We know who's NOT performing
After many, many reports about who had turned down the chance to perform at the ceremony, such as Elton John, Celine Dion, Andrea Bocelli, KISS, Garth Brooks, Rebecca Ferguson, Charlotte Church and so on; we now have a fair idea of how hard it must have been to secure talent. Even Bruce Springsteen cover band B Street Band pulled out, out of respect for their Obama-supporting hero. Ouch.
2. The list of performers is... interesting
Try country singer Toby Keith, blast-from-the-past noughties band 3 Doors Down (remember their hit, 'Kryptonite'? We use the term "hit" loosely), Lee Greenwood, The Frontmen of Country, The Piano Guys, RaviDrums, Sam Moore, America's Got Talent contestant Jackie Evancho, The Radio City Rockettes, The Mormon Tabernacle Choir and more people you've never heard of.
FYI: Obama had Aretha Franklin perform at his first inauguration and Beyoncé at his second. We'll leave you to ponder that.
3. Kanye was never even considered to perform
Yep, despite their bizzare-o meeting at Trump Tower last month it seems like his name wasn't even on the table, especially if you ask Presidential Inauguration Committee Chair Tom Barrack Jr. Here's what he said about Kanye:
"We haven't asked him. I mean, he's been great. He considers himself a friend of the president-elect, but it's not the venue. The venue we have for entertainment is filled out; it's perfect. It's going to be typically and traditionally American. Kanye's a great guy; we just haven't asked him to perform. We move on with our agenda."
Um, how is hip hop and rap not traditionally American? They completely originated in the States, did they not?
4. Michael 'Lord of the Dance' Flatley is performing
The man who introduced Irish dancing to the world via Riverdance is coming out of retirement to perform at Trump's inauguration. According to the Irish Times, his dance troupe will do most of the heavy lifting, since Chicago-born Flatley has spoken out about the toll Irish dancing has taken on his body. Clearly, top-notch and relevant talent was in short supply.
The Guardian reports that when news of Flatley's involvement in the inauguration was made public, someone redirected the website collosalbellend.com to Flatley's official page. Don't know what a bellend is? Look it up.
5. No one's sure who will dress Melania...
But it's certainly not Tom Ford (Trump "doesn't like" him anyway), nor will it be Marc Jacobs, Sophie Theallet, Derek Lam, Opening Ceremony or Kenzo. However, it might be Ralph Lauren, Carolina Herrera, Diane von Furstenberg, Tommy Hilfiger and Dolce & Gabbana - who have all expressed interest in dressing the new First Lady.
Although, with all their money, couldn't the Trumps just buy Melania whatever she wanted to wear?
6. Trump's new slogan is Keep America Great
Fine, right? Except it's the same slogan used by horror movie The Purge: Election Year which focuses on one night a year where all crime is legal. And - get this - it even features a Trump-like president. Yep.
7. The inauguration will be followed by a Women's March on Washington
Kicking off the next day, the anti-Trump sentiment is strong (Fiona Apple seems to have recorded a chant) and the march kicks off on Saturday, January 21 at 1.15pm (Washington time). Expect every liberal-minded female celeb (like Lena Dunham) to make an appearance.
8. Celebrations have started
You can watch the welcome ceremony and Trump's opening speech on a live stream. With an intro from Jon Voight (wonder what daughter Angelina Jolie thinks?), it's long, but hey, if you have two hours and endless patience, why not?
If you want to watch the whole inauguration unfold, head to Channel Seven at 3am (Sydney time) on Saturday, January 21.