Hair is one of those things that we are never truly satisfied by - like Vin Diesel movies, fusion restaurants and DIY wax kits. If ours is straight, we want somebody else's curly, if ours is brown we want our friend's blonde tresses, if our name is Donald Trump, then well, where to start?
Now this follicle dissatisfaction has moved down south - not that far - to the pecs. Not that long ago, mangora was seen as a sign of virility and macho cool. Ask your mum to picture Burt Reynolds or Tom Selleck without his shirt on and watch her eyes roll back in her head.
But here's the thing, depending on your on the genetic lottery you inherit, a hirsute chest plate is just part of the deal. Yes, you can be vigilant with trimming, depilation or even laser, but really is it worth the itching, the ingrowns and the five o'clock shadow around the nips?
As a reasonably hirsute man - I've never been able to plait below the shoulders but I'm no clean skin - I reckon men should reclaim the fuzz. It shows you are a grown up. Note we didn't use the word mature.
But within reason. So here are the rules for rocking the look in 2016. Just like with your office crush, boundaries are important. In other words, you want to keep a border between the hair on your body and that on your face. A few tendrils peaking out from an undone shirt button are fine, but tufts? Maybe not.
Another rule to bear in mind: in front is fine, out back is whack. A hairy dorsal is a major turn off for many women - fact. If this is you, get mowing. Sorry bro, you just have to.
Keep things in check around the front too with a bit of monthly maintenance - this is where a pair of nail scissors can be your best friend, as can a purpose-built male body trimmer in a mid setting (check out the selection at shavershop.com.au). In terms of length, you want to someone to be able to run their hands through it without said hand getting stuck. Now pop that extra button and release the beast.