So here's the thing: men have got it easy compared to women when it comes to looking our best. Take the legend of grey skull as an example: on men, the silvery strands that come with age are often tagged with words like 'distinguished', 'salt and pepper' and 'do I really need to explain what the term DILF means?' On women, it's seen as either 'brave' or 'my colourist is on holiday.' Nor are men subject to the same degree of bombardment by airbrushed images of so-called bodily perfection. Although that gap is narrowing. Thanks Mr Beckham.
Another treatment increasingly marketed to men is botulinum toxin A, better known as Botox. But, as per usual with anything that needs butching up for a masculine audience, the word 'bro' has been inserted by clever marketers. Seriously, we've never heard that one before!
Now don't get us wrong. Botox has been used effectively against migraines, crossed eyes, multiple sclerosis and muscle spasms, Bell's palsy and urinary incontinence. It's a serious scientific advancement, but when it comes to smoothing out lines on the face, the picture can become somewhat distorted. We're not saying don't go there at all, but you need to think of Botox like tequila shots - have more than a couple and you no longer look like yourself.
You see, Botox works by temporarily paralysing the muscles it comes into contact with, hence the smooth and unlined finish. In moderation under the skilled hands of a practitioner who embraces a less is more aesthetic, you shouldn't even be able to tell someone has had the needles. They just look like they've had a long and restful weekend. Not a facelift.
The problem is that Botox is charged by units of around $9-$15, with the average forehead requiring 20 units. Ditto crow's feet if that's your go. The more units administered, the more you are charged and the greater the income to the practitioner. Again, not saying don't - just do your research and step off if there aren't before-and-after images available.
What's more, the after-effects can be pretty bizarre. First there's the perpetually arched eyebrow you see on so many newsreaders. Which makes one look permanently cynical if it's just the one eyebrow or permanently astonished if it's two. It also results in them having exactly the same expression when reading about the latest devastating earthquake in China and a baby elephant's birthday at the zoo. Call us old-fashioned, but we think a man's face should move as he expresses himself.
Even if you neatly sidestep this risk, there's another after-effect to watch out for. Ever been to an agricultural show or one of those fancy fruit shops where the produce is lightly waxed? That's what an overly Toxed face can look like. Combined with a grey pallor found nowhere in nature, it sometimes has a bit of an open casket vibe about it. Not your most flattering look. Unless you want to take your next batch of selfies next to a wreath bearing sincere condolences from everyone at the bowling club.